Sunday, April 05, 2009

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Otter Pops need to stop using artificial flavoring. Don't they realize that I can tell the difference between real and imitation otter flavoring?

I was at a hardware store this weekend and noticed that there is a company that makes urinals and toilets named TOTO. This got me thinking: There needs to be a toilet that plays Toto's "Africa" while it is being used. I thought about this one. I really did and I thought of other possible songs that would work on the toilet and none did. Black Sabbath's "Sweat Leaf" sort of did, in a stoner sort of way, though.

There is a need for the existence of a mythical being or creature that cleans between my toes at night and leaves money under my pillow. I call that mythical creature a wife.

Gurngh!

Update: REO Speedwagon's "I Can't Fight This Feeling" seems appropriate for the musical toilet idea.

6 comments:

The Grunt said...

I am canceling my subscription to your blog, sir!

Christielli said...

You can tell the difference between real and artificial flavouring? Where were you when I was at a restaurant and the waitress messed up all of the drinks and we couldn't tell which was which?

Jay said...

"Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dogg seems equally appropriate for toilet music. I see your future success on the horizon with this idea Gruntonius!

NYD said...

I have always felt like I'm taking a leak on Dorothy's dog. I even do the witch cackle

TOTO is the main manufacurer of toilets here in Japan and man do they have some high tech doozies with all kinds of functions. You could probably sell them the idea of toilet tunes. I just don't know how your going to get the bands to go for it.

Jules said...

Hmmm... lint collecting never appeared to be a prime wifely duty when I was married... I think you have high hopes for that one!

The Grunt said...

Christielli~ Yes, real otter has a certain gaminess to it that just can't be beat!

Jay~ It does put a new spin on the term "juke box".

NYD~ I've heard about those hi-tech toilets. When's the HAL-9000 model coming out?

Jules~ The toe cleaning thing is setting the bar a tad high. She can just leave money under my pillow then.