Thursday, February 26, 2009

Garden Gnomes and other creatures

I took the above picture while hiking in a deep canyon in the Wasatch range. It's a bit out of focus. I was frightened. I could not hold my camera phone still. What are the chances that I would come across such a mythical creature in the real world? But there it was: a garden gnome roaming around in its natural habitat. I was just happy to get out of there without a shovel mark or a bearding.

Here is another rare creature: the "ghost-eyed" Yogi. This is rumored to be the ghost of a tortured circus bear, a brown bear from Russia. Apparently, the bear died from dysentery--he drank the water down in Tijuana. They say that if this bear appears before you while you are eating a taco, you will suffer from lethal diarrhea.

This is the place where bad animals and garden gnomes go when they die: to motor travel lodges along the old highway systems around the U.S., doomed to entertain and scare the shit out of lost souls who can't afford to stay in a real hotel.

Oh, and yes, that gnome is giving you the finger, the other gnomes belong to the Crips, and that baby bear is giving a hand job to the bear on the left.

7 comments:

NYD said...

I never chastise myself for being inactive s far as my blog is concerned, but neither do I go out into the hills and searh out the dreaded wild gnome. I lack the cojones for that.

Chris said...

The lesson of the bear is that the only thing to drink in Tijuana is the beer. If the bear were drinking beer, he'd still be speaking Russian today.

Megan said...

That's not a gnome, silly. That's my Uncle Ed. I've told him to stick to the trails. Sorry about that.

Karyn said...

This place looks like a bloody nightmare. Seriously.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

This is hilarious!I think you should go back with a black sharpie and give ghostie eyes some pupils! He's a little too creepy!

The Grunt said...

NYD~ I have never been the same since that encounter.

Chris~ I'm now picturing a bear drunk and reciting Dostoevsky.

Megan~ First of all, are you the Megan that I know and have a different blog? Anyway, that isn't your Uncle Ed, but I have run into him on occasion and I will pass your message on to him. He needs to stop hanging out with those gnomes, though. They are a bad influence.

Karyn~ And it's right next door to a fabulous Mexican restaurant!

O-Girl~ Well, that would ruin the whole vibe he gives off. Good to see you comment on here. It's been awhile.

Keshi said...

LOL as usual I love coming here and reading ur posts Grunty.

Anyways, now its time for me to go...I hope I'll be bak some day. Til then, u TC, be well, be happy and be good! ;-)

Au Revoir!
Keshi.