Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Wander Lobster

Am I the only one who likes to lift the door and watch the washer wash my clothes?

I want to become the Hugh Hefner of dairy products, specifically, cheese.

Imagine being inside a car where the interior has been turned into an aquarium. The car still drives. You are in full diving gear. There are all manner of tropical fish swimming around inside. This is the ultimate driving experience.

I want to go camping on Mars. As long as we depend on the government to bail our stupid asses out of our mistakes we will never innovate and my dream will never be realized.

Will humans ever be evolved enough to live without external government?

Where are the obtainable wild frontiers anymore?

A fart is the same in all languages.

The key to world peace is unbridled flatulence.

My address book is shrinking fast.

Dogs and cats should be equipped with bluetooth so that they can connect to your computer and chat, play W.O.W., and become online predators.

Farmers need to grow stuff that lets you know how it feels so that some people will have to just deal with the fact that to gain the energy sufficient to live, other things must die. Some people will then resort to living off of dust.

Are dust bins used for dust only? Are rubbish bins exclusive to just containing rubbish? Are the British retarded?

I've never known anyone to get excited about Nebraska. Have you?

My alter ego has its own secret identity that I am unaware of. This could be the reason that I woke up with a strange taste in my mouth this morning.

A girl told me today that the '80s are coming back and that to say "word" is cool again. Do we really have to do this to ourselves? Shit.

Word out.

12 comments:

megatropolis said...

Yes... not only the washer but also the dishwasher.

Diane Mandy said...

As long as 80s fashion don't come back or ...Valley Girl Speak... Yeesh!

Julie Schuler said...

The 80s had a lot of great music. The Pixies, Violent Femmes, etc. but on the 80s radio shows they only play the crap. why?

Chris said...

So as the Hugh Hefner of cheese, can we assume that you have three favorites all at one time? Who have their own cheese reality show?

Chandra said...

Yes I totally just did this on the weekend, it's fun to check the washer.

I dig the fart critical thinking masterpiece.

Why is your address book shrinking fast?

Dogs= no bluetooth.

Nebraska always reminds me of Becky from full house.

Sorry, but YES the 80's are back. Although I guess I am out of the loop about the word "word" because Mgm has been using it since prior to our get together, so it's been cool for a long time in my world.

You should post a picture of yourself in the 80's DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU! haha

The Grunt said...

Meggypoo~ Shit, you're twisted!

Diane~ Amen to that!

Julie~ Yes, it's always the crappy parts that make a comeback. I have Husker Du's Zen Arcade on vinyl, first pressing. I think that solidifies my '80s street cred.

Chris~ You are correct. Of course, I will have my "cheese" maidens to serve me.

Chandra~ I will have to find a picture to scan of me from the '80s, just for you.

Chandra said...

OK just for doing that I will post a picture of me from the 80's too!

Jules said...

I'm really confused... can a person make love to young cheeses? I thought with cheese, the older it was the better.

Jay said...

The new version of Google Earth has the sky and Mars all mapped out for your fantasizing pleasure!

The Grunt said...

Chandra~ Cool! Expect mine sometime next week.

Jules~ In the case of cheese, the older the better. But the maidens who give me the cheese can be young!

Jay~ This is awesome!

Tys on Ice said...

fart is called vali in malayalam...but if pronounced wrong it can also mean pull...so be careful whn u say it to a mallu.

Sun Follower said...

my alter ego has a shadow....