I asked a hypothetical question of some of my friends recently. The question was, "If clown tears cured cancer what would be the best way of collecting them?" Here were some of their answers:
- Run over their floppy shoes with those little cars of theirs.
- Onion goggles.
- Hide their liquor.
- Tell them that they are a chicken and if they don't start producing eggs that you will start taking off toes one by one with a pair of bolt cutters.
I think everyone on my mom's side of the family has found me on Facebook. I guess my dad's side of the family is too busy getting drunk and hitting each other. I'm just happy that only one of my relatives knows about this blog.
Whatever happened to nun chucks?
I often think about the Hamburglar's motivations for stealing all those hamburgers. I don't see how he can eat them all himself. I think he is in love with Wimpy and is trying to win over his heart.
Have you ever been someone's PDA?
When you have erotic dreams involving people at work do you find it hard to look them in the eye the next day? I do.
You haven't lived until you've seen a cow eat an orange.
Squirrels are dreaming about nuts right now.
Dogs are dreaming about smelling bad things right now.
Cats are dreaming about how they are going to ignore you tomorrow.
Cow's are dreaming about winning a speed boat race and saying "Moo!" at random things.
What do you dream about?