Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Life happens (featuring a section dedicated to a dear friend)

I took a road today that I've never been on before. This old dirt road was narrow and rutted in places, with rocks to spare, but I've seen far worse. Hey, and just look at the view!

I spent the day down at my oldest sister's. I delivered an old air conditioning unit that was sitting in the parent's storage unit to their house because she could not afford the gas to do so herself. I also wanted to see my nephew, who has been battling with a rare auto immune disease, and my oldest niece, who just turned 21 and has already been married and divorced. It breaks my heart to see them suffer these hardships. When I got down there I found my niece not looking so well. Her boyfriend had recently broken up with her. This guy was a stable and positive force in her life, but he was young and I feel that he just couldn't deal with her anymore.

I love my niece to bits. I had a hunch that things weren't going well in other areas in her life. I found out that she is in debt a little over $7,000 and has not had a job for months. I tried my best to sort out her bills and figure things out for her. We sorted out which bills needed to be paid first and I told her that I'd float her the first payment if she would get any kind of job that would be decent--I couldn't live knowing my niece was stripping or something like that. I don't think she'd resort to that, but she has done things in the past that have been really disappointing. Did I mention that I was supposed to be on vacation? Even if it is just day trippin', I still think I need a break from this.

It really wasn't a bad day. In fact, I was glad that I could help out my family. The thing was that I left a voice mail for a close friend of mine where I was all acting goofy and wishing him a happy birthday (his birthday on the 2nd). I was on my way home when I did that and when I finally arrived I find out that his mother, who had cancer, had passed away around 4:00 pm today. I can't even start to imagine how hard that must be on my friend. He has been taking care of her and helping with his three adult, mentally handicapped siblings. Now it is him and his dad left to run this household. His youngest sister is a sweet person, but not really able to handle such things herself.

The older siblings, in my opinion, dump a lot on my friend because they figure that if he is 40 and not married yet that he should be the one to deal with it all. I don't know if it ever occurred to them that he might be single because he has to deal with it and doesn't get much time for socializing and developing competent dating skills. This friend of mine is dealing with his own limitations in learning disabilities and does exceptionally well, given the hand he's been dealt with in life. Actually, he is more successful than some educated people that I know.

He has been a role model to me--a big brother. I may be able to run intellectual circles around him, but he has taught me much about how to treat others and how to live a moral life. Plus, he is about the funniest human being that I know of, and he does it all without being derogatory or vulgar.

Norm, I love you man. I don't know exactly how much your mom meant to you, but I know it was an enormous amount. I know that losing her is tough, not only because you will miss her, but because you lost the one who knew how to manage the family, the family that you now must try to explain what death is and why their mother has gone away. You have put your own personal life on hold for your love and devotion to your handicapped siblings. I believe in God and if it is any consolation, he has a place in heaven reserved for you. Outsiders will dismiss and mock you, a straight arrow of 41, that chooses to do the right in life despite want. But I and a few in the know have got you sussed. You are about the best God has to offer in this fucked up world. People just don't know a gift from above anymore and I know that you get flack for being the way you are. I hope you do get what you want, but I also hope that the core person that is you never changes. I feel blessed to have you as a friend and as a standby older brother--because I always wanted two.Cheers mate.


Tys on Ice said...

was just thinking how fortunate they all r becoz u are there....

NYD said...

Man the world need more friends like you.

Good goin, cuz!

Crystal said...

you're a sweetheart

Julie Schuler said...

That is a beautiful view.
You always make my problems seem so small and petty, and inspire me to do better as a human being. Stop it.

Scott said...

You are good man Grunt!

Outdoorsy Girl said...

I agree with everyone else's comments...You ARE a good man. I am lucky to have you as a friend.

I'll remember your friend in my prayers. What a trial for him to go through. I know he will be fine as long as he has support from friends like you, though.

Christielli said...

I know that you always say how grateful you have been for the support of your friends. It's clearly karma, since you are such a great friend yourself. :)

The Grunt said...

Tys~ It feels good to have people that you can help as well as be helped.

NYD~ Thanks! I figure you can go and tell people in Lilliput that you know me and stuff;)

Crystal~ Aw shux! I'm just glad that you didn't say how nice I am.

Julie~ I figure that my doings that inspire will provide you with something, some idea, to paint...and then when you are famous from your art you can tell people that some weird guy from the mountains had some part in it all.

Scott~ Well, I figure that it takes one to know one.

O-Girl~ Lucky is as lucky does. That sounded gay, didn't it.

Christielli~ I once knew a lady named karma and she was a bitch. She was also one of the managers at the McDonald's that I worked at in high school. I don't care what you say. I am still over the moon to have you as a bud.

Diane Mandy said...

Sounds like your friend has also been through a lot. You are lucky to have each other. He sounds like a prince, too.

Anonymous said...

Nothing gives a little perspective than seeing the trials of others. Your niece and friend are lucky to have you in their lives. And you them.

Jules said...

gorgeous, Grunty... in fact, I might just change your name to GG from now on.

The Grunt said...

Diane~ Yeah, he has. He was also one of the people that helped me out a great deal when I was going through my health problems.

Meggypoo~ Ain't it the truth:)

Jules~ I like the full version better:D.

Always on the Move said...

Awe, this really touched my heart Grunty! I really feel for this guy, because he will now be going through huge struggles eh, but it's awesome that he has a GREAT friend like you to stand by him. Someone that he can lean on when he needs it. And vise versa! That's what friends are for eh!
I hope you're all doing alright. I mean his family and you of course, since it's been awhile since I've stopped by!