Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Snow day

It snowed here today. I can't believe how much colder I am now that I have more in common with a dolphin than a chimpanzee. This got me thinking about snow and how it shouldn't have to be cold. What if snow could also be like warm sand falling down on you, but still have the same consistency and properties of snow? That would be sexy.

There was a guy that was talking to a few of us at work. He isn't that bright. He actually started a story by saying, " Yeah, I remember when my parents were little..." I burst out laughing and apparently deeply offended this man. I don't care. If you go around telling people that you remember when your parents were little you should be laughed at. This same guy once told me that his parents owned a ski lift. I had a chance to meet this guy's mother in front of him. I asked her about their "ski lift" and she looked at me like I was smoking crack, initially, then started to laugh. She explained that her and her husband used to ride this one lift so much that they joked that it was theirs. Her son then became visibly upset, like his whole world was falling apart. He really believed this story to be true. Folks, this guy is not a retard. He is a grown man. A grown man with serious issues.

I was bored driving in my utility van and the radio sucks. So I made up a fun song, doo-wop style, about beavers on the loose. I wish I had wrote the lyrics down. Basically, it was just "Bea-ha-vers on the loo-a-hoose" over and over again in different keys and falsetto. It could totally be a smash hit. It actually is similar to another song I wrote in the van, "Big Bag 'o' Pussies". It's a protest song...er, for PETA.

If someone sees themselves in the mirror and thinks it's another person don't be too alarmed. It's when they start telling you how that other person has started molesting them that you should start worrying.

This is a true story. There is a kid that I have been teaching guitar gear related stuff to, not guitar lessons, but setup and stuff like that. Well, I demonstrated my gear/chops to him and apparently have become his new guitar god. He asked me to join his heavy metal band, Vulcan. I was actually very flattered, but I am not sure how comfortable I would be, a guy in his thirties, playing with a bunch of seventeen year olds. Plus, I am not really a "metal" player, even though I certainly listen to a lot of old school stuff. Plus, plus, if I were in a band named "Vulcan" and was the sole old dude, everybody would think that I named the band and was some kind of hopeless Trekkie. Anyway, it kind of made my day. Maybe I could wear a gimp mask to conceal my identity. Drat!
Samson already did that. (See, I know my metal history.)

That is all for now. Good day.


The Grunt said...

Hey there, big boy! Watcha doing?

I'm leaving a comment on my post, you big silly.

Scott said...

You should totally join Vulcan and wear a whole costume of those furry things in the episode where they bred like crazy. Tribbets? Something like that.

vera said...


We got a LOT of snow here too. I took a pic of my my boot print. It's art, yo.


Chandra said...

Lots of snow here too... and no it doesn't snow all year around in Canada lol...

Vulcan.. yes I would think you named it too

The snow idea is beyond sexy... it's foxy. Weird I used to think the same thing about warm beachy days and snow falling... oh and some other x rated things to go along with it haha.

Scary Monster said...

Mr. Dilly. Sounds like the poster child fer birth control. Amazing the songs ya can make up when yer bored and behind the wheel.


Tys on Ice said...

hey we have wht u want...warm sand falling from the sky...we call it sand storm...i still prefer your snow :)

Jules said...

I don't think I would want warm sand falling down on me like snow. It gets in all the unspeakable creases...

Congrats on the invite to Vulcan... you may be right though, a 30-something mixed with pre-adults not only looks odd, but a little bit creepy too.

cindra said...

Too funny. That's how I felt when I was in my late thirties in college and the 20 something girls would invite me to party with them!

You always crack me up, you big silly.

Clearlykels said...

I'm not going to lie. I'm jealous of your snow. Right now, I'm dreaming of it snowing outside, drinking hot chocolate with Bailey's and a fireplace. Unfortunately, I don't have a fireplace. I see this as a mere detail. My landlord should be understanding if I have a small fire in the apartment--- eh, I really like my place. I'll stick to candles.

Karyn said...

I had snow last week. I'm all set. I like your idea of warm sexy snow though.

Protest songs. For. Peta.