Some of my favorite side effects of chemo are constipation and diarrhea. The transition from one to the other comes quite fast and violently. I know that after this confession that I am on top of your "must have underwear fun with" lists, ladies.
I totally relied on spell checker to correct the word diarrhea for me. This is ironic because it is one of my most favorite of words.
I haven't decided which I like more: Oompa Loompas or Munchkins. The Munchkins are cute and have that whole Lollipop Guild thing going on for them, but you can sure put an Oompa Loompa to work. On the other hand, tragedy surrounds anyone near the Oompas. It is a bit troubling, I must say. However, their songs have a lesson to teach and they make me feel better about myself--mainly that I am not the chump getting turned into a freakin' blueberry.
Speaking of blueberries, why is it so damn hard to find "Boo Berry" cereal outside of the month of October? That stuff is too good not to be year round.
I went to a place that made "old fashioned" hamburgers the other day. I stuck around for a bit in line but ultimately left disappointed. I was in a more "old timey" mood anyway.
In my dream America there is a man named "Buck Kennedy" running for president. He rides horses and carries a lasso wherever he goes. His future running mate is "Peter F. Hammershaft". I promise I don't watch gay porn.
Would it kill Carl's Jr. to be a little more civilized? Yes, it would. Besides, I kind of like the implications of a female truck driver chowing down on a taco salad. That's right. It makes me all horny in a bad way.
I tried a thing called "Five Hour Energy Shot" the other day. That was a total waste of money. It tasted bad and made me all paranoid. I really need to stop buying random things at 7-11.
Soylent Green is people...now featuring 10% more Asians!!!
Let's face it: they just add a certain kind of zing.
Failed presidential campaign slogans:
"The future belongs to you. Thank god I'm living in the past."
"America: The last great white hope!"
"Screw the environments. Where's my rifle?"
"Here...here's your G-D oil, @!#$!@%!!!"
"Sexy time in the Oval Office once more."
"Baby, lets invade."
"OMG, did you know that Russia has the bomb?"
"Will abort babies for carbon offsets."
"Gay marriage has WMDs."
Actually, that last one would probably win. Call me, Mitt.
I'm all out of stuff to write about. Can I go to bed now?
3 years ago