Monday, September 29, 2008

I'm typing because my fingers need the exercise

Today has been fairly challenging for me in ways that I can't quite articulate. My back and legs were sore from me running down a mountain trail Sunday. I was trying to get home in order to catch the premier of the new season of the Simpsons. I'm sore, but that really isn't what is bothering me. It could be that I have had some issues with a co-worker that I wonder if he had suffered one too many blows to the head when he played high school football. It probably isn't that either. Maybe it was sitting in the DMV for too long waiting to renew my truck's registration. Nope. Maybe it was nothing.

I saw a girl crying like mad today. I was coming out of a 7/11 and she just hung up the pay phone and started bawling. She got into her car and drove around the gas station and parked her car again, still bawling. This made me wonder why I don't cry much anymore. I always wonder what people cry about because I wonder what tragedy is in their lives.

On my Sunday hike a family was coming up the trail. Their labrador greeted me with a friendly nose to the hand, then their schnauzer greeted me with a wet whisker to my calf. It was then that I said to myself, "What in the fuh kind of dog is that?" This flash of fur was bounding around the trail like crazy. It was a goat, a tiny charcoal goat wearing a red dog collar and bell. It was the coolest thing I've seen in a long time. This goat was real friendly too. Screw getting a dog; I'm getting one of these for a pet. I mean, it will subsist on whatever, right? No trips to the pet store for food and shit. Yeah, I'm probably wrong on that one. I'm just looking to get rid of some old leather boots and my mound of tin cans. Anyway, think of what a goat could do to intruders. A burgler would not be expecting to hear a goat, nor would a burgler enjoy getting rammed. I would train my guard goat to chew intruder crotch. It would be awesome.

I don't know why, but I felt lonely today. It was bound to happen to me. Crashing after having had a real great experience on Sunday, I guess. That must be what was dogging me today. Johnny Thunders said it best when he sang, "You can't put your arms around a memory."

Don't try.


Julie Schuler said...

I adore goats! My name on the horror movie geek forum I frequent is "goatgirl". I wanted to get a pygmy goat for a pet. And I have a name all picked out -Astrid. Don't steal my goat name. Anyway, I have learned that goats eat bagged food like dogs or cats. There is actually a goat chow. I was hoping that having a goat would put an end to our lawnmowing days, but I've spoken with other goat owners, and they say some goats are very picky and won't eat anything but the chow.

Crystal said...

i love goats! my aunt has one and if you start messing with the horse, the goat puts his head down and runs at you on his back feet. rad.

i need a goat.

NYD said...

You need to get yourself a girlfriend real fast.

Damn! A goat? Are becoming a pagan???

You know I'm just messing around with you, right?


Anonymous said...

Or maybe it's just that you've had some hard experiences in your life that you've been dealing with that no one can really enter into with you because most of us haven't experienced them. I hope today isn't so unsettling for you. leigh

Jay said...

I you do end up with a new pet, please name him goatse.

Christielli said...

I learned from cartoons that goats eat tin cans. I'm unsure whether this is factual.

Sometimes I go through long periods where I don't cry at all, and I feel kind of blocked up. Good cries are good. (And fun toys are fun.)

How was the new Simpsons? I've resigned myself to just watching the Simpsons from my youth as therapy.

ps Have you ever read the book "Planet Simpson" by Chris Turner? If not, you must.

pps Also thanks for saying I look like Natalie Wood. :) I think the only similarity is that we're both brunettes.

The Grunt said...

Julie~ Thanks for the info. Astrid is a good goat name. I was thinking of something like Lucifer or Korihor, lol! It's going to be an evil goat that chews up the neighbor's fence.

Crystal~ I could see you owning a pet goat. You are like Dr. Doolittle.

NYD~ My nickname at my high school job working at McDonald's was "Pagan". As far as getting a girlfriend, I think I'm almost ready. Cue Todd Rundgren's "We Gotta Get You A Woman".

Leigh~ Today was better emotionally, but physically it was a drag. I think you are right. It is easy for me to get people to like me but hard for me to let them in all the way. It's hard to know who you can trust with your heart sometimes.

Jay~ I'm going to name him McFatty.

Christielli~ I learned that from cartoons as well. The "fun toys are fun" is one of my favorite Ralph Wiggum lines. The new Simpsons shows are still good but nowhere near as good as the classic years. I don't think I'll ever tire of them. Simpsons are great therapy. I can't have enough laughter in my life. That is where I do my most crying--the good kind! I will have to get that book you recommended. Finally, yeah, well, I don't look exactly like Robert Redford, but my point is that you are purdy:D

NYD said...

I am going to the music store tomorrow to see if they have any of those guitars. I may not be able to afford them. I just want to see what they look like.

Anonymous said...

A few years ago I accompanied my sons preschool class to see baby miniature goals. A "litter" had been born the night before. Of course my son slipped on a placenta and afterbirth and has blood and goat birth shit all over him. It was awesome.

I'm sorry you're lonely. In a way I am too. And I haven't heard from you in forever! You can't hide from me... I will find you! :)

Outdoorsy Girl said...

My dad used to always say that he was going to buy a goat and tie him to a tree in our front yard so that he wouldn't have to mow the grass any more. He said it to pick on me and my brother and rile us up into protests about how embarrassing that would be.

When I was a grown up and had to take care of my own lawn, I begin to rethink the idea. If I had only known I could've trained him to be a watch goat and hiking partner, I would've been totally sold!

I still feel lonely every once in a while myself. It is normal to feel that way, I guess. It still sucks, though.

The Grunt said...

NYD~ Well, they will look like a Gibson Les Paul or Fender guitars. Edwards' parent company is ESP and ESP won't get sued by Fender or Gibson so long as the copies are marketed only in Japan. The deal is that even imported to the U.S., I can buy a top end Edwards Les Paul for about $1,200 to $3,000 less than the real deal (Edwards can be had for $1,000). It's just that the Edwards will depreciate in value, but the Gibson will appreciate after ten years or less. Good condition '59 Les Pauls have been selling between $200,000 and $600,000. A brand new Les Paul Historic is around $7,000. I don't know about anybody else, but I play guitar, not hang it on the wall to look at or keep it in a vault.

Meggypoo~ Don't you worry--never fear--soon Mr. Grunty will bend your ear.

O-Girl~ I get hit once in a while, even though I am a big toughie and can handle being alone.

Chandra said...

I think it's kind of like when something terrible happens and you wonder when are you ever going to laugh again. You will, just when something is really really funny.

Maybe you are just stronger than you think. Or one night when you are watching a romantic comedy it will all come out....

Maybe your songs are your tears.

I love this ""I'm typing because my fingers need the exercise".. too true!

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