Except I want to be called, "The Velvet Ice Cream Man".
This weekend post was going to be deep but I can't bring myself to it. I've been getting a lot of people bringing up my next PET scan and checkup. This week has been a hard week on my entire being. I don't know where to start really. Well, it started with a dream I had. The dream involved faces that brought me to my knees emotionally and left me feeling alone and wanting when I awoke. I've been fighting off a depression and taking measures to stop myself from letting certain feelings gain inertia because there is nothing I can do about them. Some of those feelings would go nowhere for me anyway. There's nothing like the sensation of global impotence to turn you against yourself. The want hurts bad, but it keeps you going despite its danger.
I'd like to think that I'm a good guy. I fixed this sing-a-long cassette recorder for this lady's granddaughter and it involved replacing an obsolete semiconductor to control the cassette motor's speed. This was a lot of time and effort on my part to find out what was wrong and then track down the manufacturer of this chip and then locate a vendor that would sell me one. I found one but had to order a bunch of other things in order to meet their minimum sales requirements. This means that I ordered a ton of integrated circuits that I knew I could resale for a profit, or at least break even. This was all so a little girl could sing along to her favorite tapes. Well, I got a gift certificate for Macaroni Grill out of it. And you know what you can always count on when you are all alone in life? Free hand jobs on demand! Seriously though, this little victory has kept me from hitting bottom this week.
Do you ever feel like you have the label "DISCARD AFTER USE" on your forehead? Or maybe you have a "For Rent" sign hanging around your neck. I have surely felt like a rental unit many times in my life. I wonder what signs I have unconsciously hung, or have let others hang around my neck. I would like to hang a "Go fuck yourself!" sign on my neck right now. Don't take it personally, or let it go to your head. It's not like you are that important to me that I'm gonna go outta my way to kick you in your fun glands. I thought I was doing a dude a service tonight by yelling at him to turn his lights on his penis enlargement device. It was 11:30 pm and I nearly ran into him pulling on the road. I couldn't see this waste of ejaculate. At the light I kept shouting at him to turn his lights on. He didn't get it and thought I was looking for a fight. The butt fuck just about climbed out of his dick mobile to "get" me. That is when his bright girl friend said, "You don't have your lights on." So, for my community service, this guy followed right behind me in a threatening manner with his brights on to let me know that he isn't a professional dipshit. He's only in the pioneer league, apparently. Where are the police when the menace of stupidity prowls the night?
Anyway, I thought it would be a great night to watch nothing on TV and create a bowel obstruction for myself out of Oreo cookies. You know, I'm a total package.
3 years ago