Suffers from frequent posting and painful yearnination

So, I've come to find out how unprepared my parents are for their future. Fark. Do your children a huge favor and get insured to the hilt, namely, long-term care, or just move to Canada. My sister from Idaho has been away from her family taking care of my mother's needs, stuff that a son should be spared from doing. Debbie has missed her son's birthday this week and I know that it is wearing on her. It is hard to not get wore down in emotion, something a professional would be better prepared to handle.

Anyway, I have been given a chance to get to know my youngest sister (five years my senior) better. We were closer when we were young, until she became a teen, then after that we haven't been that close. So, getting closer to her has been one of the blessings that has come from this experience.

I was going to take a headboard and foot board to the local Deseret Industries (like Goodwill, etc.). These were going to be a project of my mom's but were in the way of accessing the car in the garage in her wheel chair. I thought it would be good to ask her first if it was okay. She thought about it for awhile and said that she still wanted them. So, I am taking them to their storage unit (which I was trying to get them out of $$$). In a way, this was nice to hear because she is still fighting and hopeful that she has some life ahead of her.

I need to reiterate that while my mother's cancer is ultimately incurable, and if nothing was done would kill her in a matter of weeks or so, she hasn't been told by her doctors that there is nothing that can be done. I don't feel that her doctors would try treating her if it were not worth doing so, if there were no chance of her having more quality time of life. I prepare for two things: her journey out of this world and what kind of needs she will have if the doctors are able to pull off a miracle. I know where the odds are stacked, but we still have yet to be told that there is no hope. Today will be her third radiation treatment; these will continue for another week and a half, then the doctors will be able to see where to go from there.

I've been working on what I call "hope goals". What these are is my way of not overwhelming myself with negativity and focusing on one-little hope that will get me through the day. Right now, my hope and positive energy is being focused on the tumor that is effecting my mom's eye sight and oral functioning. I know that if progress is made in this area that she can communicate a bit better, see her surroundings better, and get to eat more substantially. After that, my energy is focused on her tumor that is causing her pain in her lower back and legs. Morphine sulphate helps there as well, I suppose.

Well, thanks for reading. I really haven't been capable of being all that entertaining lately, with all this emotional heavy lifting going on. I had to get a new picture for my security badge because the old one was faded (yeah, I still have a bit part in the working world--a little more than a walk on). The lady said that I looked serious. Yeah, I do....I am.