Monday, January 14, 2008

Radio time in the car

Those who commute or get stuck in traffic can try some of these things out.

I have a work utility van with a crap ass radio. When I am travelling from one task to another that crap ass radio is my savior. It keeps me from going insane. What I like to do, though, is not just listen to the radio, but engage in a bit of silliness with it. Here is just a small sample of the things that I've done (do) to keep my sanity.

How to sing like Michael Mc Donald: Stick both index fingers in the corners of your mouth, yank them to the side so that your mouth looks like a slit, and start singing incomprehensible lyrics. Bam! You can be singing, "What a Fool Believes" in no time. Make sure that you have clean hands and are stopped in the car while performing this trick. Knees can't swerve the steering wheel to miss pedestrians so hot, it turns out.

I am a big fan of the glam rock band Sweet. "Fox on the Run" and "Ballroom Blitz" just get me singing along without regard to anyone that can see me making an ass of myself. Anyone that is familiar with Ballroom Blitz will know the part where one of the dudes starts talk yelling all dramatic and spooky and shit then the other dude goes "Oh yeah...." When I hear that song it gets me in a silly mood and then I start making up conversations in those dudes' weird spooky/campy tones. It's just good clean fun. I thought that if I had no care for the appearance of sanity that it would be great just to talk like that everywhere. Oh yeah! Try it out sometime.

Making up new lyrics to old songs is nothing that any of us haven't done. Currently, I am working on new lyrics to the Rick Springfield classic, "Jessie's Girl". Here are some snippets.

"She's greasing up her thighs, I just know it."

"Where can I find a woman that fat, like Jessie's girl?"

It's a work in progress. It's just that I have so many other projects going on that it is hard for me to come back to this one and complete it. I'm still working on completing new lyrics to some Journey tunes. Though, stay tuned for the reworking of Jessie's Girl. Hey, I just got an idea about how Kansas's tune "Point of Know Return" (the spelling is right--check it on the album) can be turned into a bathroom time adventure. Sweet!

You got anything?


Nessa said...

I was bouncing in my seat this morning to Olivia and John.

Diane Mandy said...

Try making German radio fun. Gosh do I miss XM. But when given the opportunity, I am totally trying the Michael McDonald thing--if only to give some German on the Audobon something to talk about.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

I do this all the time. It's like magic! Me + traffic jam= awesome hits such as "Retards in the fast line" (the new and updated version of the Eagles' "Life in the fast lane".)

I even came up with a new Christmas song coming home from Nashville one time that I sang along to tune of "Silver Bells." It was titled "Traffic Hell". All I can remember now are these lines:

Gooberses* with liceses
meeting mile after mile
and through all this bustle you curse
Traffic Hell, Traffic Hell
This traffic is really shitty

*the word "goobers" with a twist to make it rhyme with liceses.

Anyway, I sort of gave it up when I wrote a super version of "Listerine" (Glycerine by Bush)only to find out that Weird Al had beaten me to the punch. :(

Jules said...

I've inexplicably had tunes from the musical Grease stuck in my head for the past little while... but I haven't felt the need to backcomb my hair and wear skin tight black shiny leather.

Karyn said...

I did a stunning rendition of the Eagles "Desperado" at Halloween, substituting "Nosferatu" for "Desperado" and keeping the theme. It was quite good actually and I wish I'd written it down.

I love Ballroom Blitz and Jessie's Girl. And your thing about Michael McDonald made me laugh my butt off - too funny!

Robot Zombie Vampire said...

I make sure that when caught at a stoplight with the windows down, the volume from the radio goes mute, and the volume of my own awesomeness is set to max.

Sun Follower said...

Turn up the bass.. uh-huh, uh-huh...

The Grunt said...

Hey everybody, here's one that I like to bust out, "I've got flu, rickets, and head lice!" Think Eddie Money would approve of such a bastardization?

Clearlykels said...

Yesterday was a good but exhausting day at work, I pumped up the music and sang at the top of my lungs with so much heart on my drive back. I feel like I got the day out. It was a great feeling. Music in the car is very important.

Crystal said...

i keep a vibrator in the glove box

The Grunt said...

Crystal~ Have you ever got a ticket for driving under the influence of oscillations?

Crystal said...

no, but i have thought that if i did get pulled over, i may just go ahead and tell the cop what i was really up to. maybe he would appreciate my honesty. if not that is ok too, i can always just tell people i got a ticket for masturbating. you get mad street cred that way.