Friday, March 03, 2006

Mexican Food Tramp

I got busted. Tonight, I went to one of my many favorite Mexican food restaurants and was confronted by the lady who owns the place. First, a little history for you. She knows my name and I've never told her it. When it's been a long time since I've been there, she asks me where I've been and why I don't come around more often. She always remembers what I ordered last and thinks that's what I'm going to order again; in fact, she even knows what I haven't tried on the menu. I know I'm a good tipper, but there's something more going on here.

So, I go in there tonight right before closing time and she looks at me accusingly and says, "Oh, you haven't been here in a while." Followed with, "What have you been doing?"

I just acknowledged her question with, "Yeah, it's been are you?"

She showed me to the table and looked at my brother and me with a boiling hurt saying in her thickening accent, "My sister says she saw you guys' truck down the street at El Burrito. What were you guys doing there, huh?" She stood there burning a hole with her eyes to sear the betrayal right into my soul.

I really felt bad. I don't know why I should feel bad, but I did. It was like I had cheated on her. This is some screwed-up Woody Allen shit right here, I'll tell you. The only explanation I could offer this sweet lady was that I like their chili Colorado and that her restaurant doesn't serve it.

Her reply, "How come you don't ask me? I can make you chili Colorado right here."

The sad part of this is that the closest thing I got to a woman right now is this jealous old Mexican lady. Oh well, at least I'm well fed.


Scott said...

That has happened to me before. You feel like you are betraying this person if you find a better place to eat in the neighbourhood.

Don't feel guilty.


West of the Sun said...

Oh, I know this feeling well.

I used to go to a Dunkin Donuts every morning before work. The girl behind the counter would call out my order as soon as she saw me and would make small talk as I paid.

My office moved and I had to start going to another one a block or two away. Now I feel guilty even passing by my old DD. Like I should have said goodbye and explained I wouldn't be coming by anymore.

The Grunt said...

Welcome to Grunt Ahoy, West of the Sun. I hope you don't mind me truncating your name down to WOTS for future reference.

It's good to feel that I'm not the only one that feels guilty for going somewhere else. This whole consumer loyalty thing can get pretty absurd lately.

BTW, this lady will kill me if I don't show up for St. Patricks Day. She says she will give me a free margerita. I tried to tell her that I don't drink and she said, "But, it's free!"

The cat's out of the bag now...The Grunt is dry. I rely on eleven "herbs and spices" for my inspiration and good times, whatever the hell those may be. This is what happens when God talks to you;)

Jim V said...


Sorry to butt in on this post with an unrelated topic, but that Howard Dean post was supposed to be a draft! I didn't realize I published it. It still needs a lot of work.

So thanks for the comment! You saved me some serious embarassment by letting me know I posted that.

See ya. Cool blog.

logo said...

I wish we had a Mexican place like that!
And hey, take what you can get, right?
At least she cooks for you.

The Grunt said...

Welcome to my blog, Logo. It's a good thing to have a joint like that where they care about you--maybe a little too much, but it's cool.

Jim, you owe me one.

Crystal said...

just be glad you don't have to deal with beauticians! "who did these highlights? i didn't do these highlights! who did you go to? why? they messed up your hair!" jesus christ, lady. chill out.
and then they can butcher your hair for cheating on them which will make you look like an idiot for more than however long the food poisoning lasts.

The Grunt said...

I never thought of it that way, Crystal.

logo said...

I have noted your comments on Slackers with chuckles and snickers, even the occasional guffaw. But when you quote Real Genuis, well, then coming to visit your blog became a moral imperative.
Re. the Mexican place, as long as the gal doesn't start calling you at home and asking why you haven't been by lately, you are all good.

vera said...

you have me laughing my head off. im thinking that whole david lynch dream series going through my head. an odd scene out of twin peaks or something...

if i were you, i wouldn't try the chilli colorado... (now i've flipped to texas chainsaw massacre... wait! is it that movie where they're feeding customers @ the roadside diner... oy vey!)...

verifcation word: euyer
use in a sentence: El Burrito food is euyer than crazy mexican lady's food.

The Grunt said...

Welcome to my blog, Vera. I dig your Twin Peaks spin. I am a religious Lynch Head, BTW. Blue Velvet is my favorite movie. I also do the word verification game, so I appreciate your entry all the more.

vera said...

love blue velvet... its listed in my section re: favourite movies... lost highway, another brilliant one... mullholland drive... etc...
nice to be at your blog, i've read it a few times, taking the opportunity to comment :)

verification word: sqccf
As he lay dying, Harold sqcvf up an unfortunate hairball.