Sunday, August 16, 2009

God's own pratt

Have you ever met somebody and decided that you were put on this earth to mess with them? I have. This guy thinks it is his purpose in life to be exacting in everything that he does and then proceeds to enforce this upon everyone that he comes across. I, having a deeply buried malevolence towards this type of individual, decided that this was just great. Why? Because I need a break from being benevolent every once in awhile.

The best way to mess with someone like this is to approximate things all of the time. Never get anything right on the money. However, bust them hard and remind them constantly of their failures to be thorough and precise. Also, with philosophical matters, strictly adhere to a loose "spirit" of the law and not blind observance. Plus, if they are religious zealots, like this guy, plan on coming out as a witch during one of their visits. The look on his face is going to be priceless.

I have also thought of telling this man that I believe him to be a prophet, or even one step further, one of the Three Nephites. Better yet, I think I should convince this man to write that religious book that he has always been meaning to write and to finally make his move to the Holy Land. There are many ways that one could play this. What things would you do?

6 comments:

NYD said...

Just because I have a smidgen of your guy's personality traits I believe I know just how to drive him truly batty. Just change every clock in that he use to an alternate time; all of them diffetent. I am talking about hours of difference here. If you could get others to join you and fuck up his temporal continuity you will be greatly rewarded.

You could also spike his Kool aid with LSD that would be fun too.

Sun Follower said...

I'd put sugar in his salt shaker.

Christielli said...

Bah to pratts at work. I'm looking forward to going back to school, except when I think about some of the pratts that I'll have to deal with.

Oh, by the way, I did not eat any haggis. Sorry. Claire did though, if that counts.

Tys on Ice said...

hmmm...damn u cud be talking abt me ... whatever u do , just dont come after me with a pitchfork...

The Grunt said...

NYD~ Somehow I don't think you are anything like this guy. He is a strict enforcer in things amounting to magic pixie dust. He is just a church nut--not a normal religious person--who thinks it is his duty to correct everybody in the neighborhood. Great way to make new friends, given that he and his wife just moved here.

Sun~ I like that idea.

Christielli~ Well, he's not a work related pratt, but I hate those too. I loved the postcard, btw! Oh, and you don't ever want to eat haggis, blech!

Tys~ I think you are nothing like this guy. He's more of a Spanish Inquisition type.

Christielli said...

Glad that the postcard arrived safely! :D