Tuesday, November 04, 2008


I will give the first person who can figure out what the title means a prize.

There was this guy today who wanted to show me his "invention" for clearing out a street gutter drain. It was just two PVC pipe lengths taped together that he used to ram down the drain. I told him that he just found them and that he didn't invent them, "pipes have already been invented, dude, a long freakin' time ago". You would have thought that I had told him that his mother sucks cocks in hell or something. Realizing that this guy's self esteem was so invested in this technological breakthrough of his, I decided to turn things around and give him credit for his genius. This only made things worse and funnier at the same time. He then proceeded to tell more people about his invention and it really hasn't helped his reputation at work. I've decided that I would be the one to name his new invention: "Quinn's Trusty Ramrod". My world is only further enriched by knowing this fur-bearing, halfwit man child.

I have a friend who has a bunch of Canadian cousins that like to make fun of him being American. They say stuff like, imitating his American accent, "Hey, my name is Jason and I'm an American, dude." Apparently, that is hilarious. I love my Canadians, so what I am about to say is only in friendship and good times. How do you get one hundred Canadians out of a swimming pool? You say, "Hey, Canadians! Get out of the pool!" Apparently, that too is hilarious.

Just this Sunday, I was eating some peanut butter cups while laying down on the couch watching TV. After awhile, I go to the terlet. (Like the pronunciation?) When I get done cleaning up shop, I look in the mirror and see a big, brown streak across my cheek and neck. I panicked for a moment thinking that I had just given myself some kind of botched "Dirty Sanchez" and then I remembered the peanut butter cups and figured that I must have had some on my hands and rubbed it on. Besides, I checked it out. It totally did not taste like doodoo feces.

If you didn't vote in the big election, then you are kind of a loser. What are you going to do to make it up to the rest of us? I think brownies would be nice.



Anonymous said...

CLEARLY this word is "Gee, you are peein' on me" with a mouthfull of halloween candy... probably peanut butter cups. I'm ready to collect my prize.

Scott said...

Oh man, still laughing about that get out of the pool comment. God, I can't get enough of that shit.

Chris said...

Now that the voting is done, I'm waiting for my free beer. I recall that being a campaign promise. I blanked on everything after that.

Sun Follower said...

I think your title says
"YES WE CAN"... not matter what! ;)

NYD said...

Grow up in awe???

You have got me sayin that word over and over in my head like it is some kind of mantra.

"Fur-bearing halfwit man child" You have got to start posting pictures of the people in your town.

Christielli said...

How about laser-cats? Or laser-sharks? I think those are both from something.

Funny Cdn joke. :)

The Grunt said...

Gurpoinawe means nothing. I typed the word and figured that it could be some kind of Rorschach test to see what was on your minds today.

Meggypoo~ Now I know what you think about, dirty girl. I think if it meant that it would involve more than one person being peed on, but good try. You still have the prize of knowing me:D

Scott~ I know. I know. The hilarity is life threatening.

Chris~ I'm sure there is a free beer waiting for you somewhere. Just make sure the beer hasn't had a ruphie slipped in it. That's a "Yes we can" that you don't want.

Sun~ Well, it certainly can mean that.

NYD~ It is kind of catchy for a made up word. I should take pictures of the townsfolk. This particular guy is rather menacing looking, think "overweight Slingblade", and he sounds like Elmer Fudd.

Christielli~ I would love to see those laser animals IRL. As far as Canadian jokes go, that is the only one that I know.

vera said...

It's: "Please get out of the pool." :P


vera said...

I have been /away... Sorry...
So, how's your pancreas?


Jules said...

Technically it would be impossible for it to have tasted like doodoo feces... because that would imply that the doodoo itself produced the feces, and as far as I know, doodoo doesn't make mini doodoo's. Either way, I'm relieved as all get out that it wasn't a botched Dirty Sanchez...

How do you get Canadians out of a pool... HAHAHA.. Frig, Grunty, that's choice stuff!! ;OP

The Grunt said...

Vera~ I hope you don't know something that I don't. Anyway, I'll take you anytime I can get you:)

Jules~ Doodoo feces is something I like to say because of who said it first: Wacko Jacko.