Thursday, August 11, 2011

Polyandry Annie

I want to form my own circus, kind of like Cirque du Soleil, but less gay. I would call mine Cirque du Jirques. Bring a tarp. I really wouldn't want such a thing but my mind finds the word play fun. Anyway, I'm sure that such a thing already exists in Tijuana or Japan.

Don't you hate it when you bite the side of your mouth or tongue? Well, maybe it doesn't hurt so much as you just have a poor attitude about the whole thing in the first place. Do what I do and call them "flavor bursts". You'll begin to enjoy life and the taste of your own blood all the more!

Jim Carrey sure has broke new comedic ground with his "Mr. Popper's Penguins". It's sure to win him some kind of Oscar, Golden Globe, night with a tranny hooker. But he can't ride on the coattails of those adorable penguins the rest of his prestigious career. Nope, he'll return to a bit of hard comedy, like "Cable Guy" or "I Love You Phillip Morris". See, the common belief is that you can't have the sweet without the sour, and Jim should give it both ways long time. My movie idea for Mr. Carrey is this: A bumbling, old store clerk by day who transforms as a male prostitute at night. Yes, Mr. Carrey will take on the roll of the famous toilet paper pitchman, Mr. Whipple, starring in "Mr. Whipple's Nipples". This movie, and Jim's performance, will answer the question why you were not allowed to squeeze the Charmin, really.

That's all the post ideas I can remember for now. I was in the sun too long today and I feel a slight case of thermal retardation coming on.



Christielli said...

I can attest that the Utahn sun is pretty darned hot.

Nessa Roo said...

That reminded me of the old band The Circle Jerks, which I listened to briefly back in the eighties, until I learned what a circle jerk actually was, and then I was too mortified to take them seriously.
I spent some time in the sun today, too, as you can probably tell.

jason said...

Gotta love winning nights with tranny hookers. It's why people get into the biz.

The Grunt said...

Christielli~ Yeah, especially in Arches.

Nessa Roo~ Yeah, what a name. I too was mortified when I found out what a circle jerk was.

Jason~ Totally! Eddie Murphy agrees.

Jules said...

I recently bit the inside of my bottom lip and actually swore out loud for several minutes till the pain died down. I mean.. who sits there and swears at themselves for such a long time? Come on. My only explanation is that I've officially lost it.

Jim Carrey. I haven't seen that penguin movie. Perhaps I should.

Jules said...

P.S. Do I have to google circle jerks now or are you or Nessa just going to tell me? Cuz the image it conjures up is quite ummm.. something...