Sunday, August 14, 2011


I haven't been feeling unlucky, but I have been feeling like I need more luck than what I've been getting rationed. There's things in my life that I need that little extra help with that only luck can seem to provide. I guess I should make my own luck, but if it is anything like the time I tried to make curry, the results ended up rejected in the toilet.

If you make your own "luck" it isn't called luck; it's just making things happen. Maybe I'm not good at that. Well, at least I'm good at thinking before I do stupid things, most of the time. The point I'm trying to make here is that you can't achieve luck, just as you can't achieve the lottery. You need to have the odds in your favor, sure, but more than that, you need luck.

I have no rituals or lucky objects/charms. Do they seem to work for you? I really think it is more of a way that one reduces anxiety--a way of feeling in control. If I was to do some kind of ritual to get more luck or favor in my life it would probably involve a goat. Before I could get the ritual underway, the goat would probably find some interesting electrical cord to chew on and die. As for a lucky object/charms, I'd probably have a lucky left sock. Yes, I would not be lucky, but my lucky left sock would end up winning the lottery, leaving me and Mr. Right Sock all alone. I need luck not lucky things.

It's pretty silly to ask God for better luck, because that gives off the message that you prefer luck over divine intervention. The problem is that nobody gets "lucky" when God is behind your fate's steering wheel. Luck grants you those things that you are afraid to ask God for. Luck is like your cool older brother that lets you have a beer and a nudie mag for a baby sitter. There's no way God is going to listen to those requests and let you get away with it. Luck covers more bases because luck doesn't judge. Having said that, you do not want to piss off God or turn down his help. It's just smart.

So, I want a bit more mojo this coming year. I think I'm due for some good luck. So if you have a bit more luck than you need, consider my plea: Brother, could you spare me some luck?


J. Kwiatkowski-Schuler said...

I just watched the Alfred Hitchcock Presents show yesterday- the episode 'You Got To Have Luck'. That's as close as I've gotten to luck so far.

Megan said...

It seems like the times in which I feel like I need or deserve some luck, it vanishes like a fart in the wind. But when I become indifferent, that's when it appears. Yes... stop needing luck and you'll get it. I realize my take on it all leaves you in quite a conundrum :).

The Grunt said...

One at a time with all the comments now, people!!!

Julie~ I love Hitchcock. However, I'm a bit more partial to Robyn than Alfred.

Megan~ So you are saying that I should stop being so damned needy. Yeah, nobody likes the beggar who tries too hard.

Beatrice~ Yeah, it usually comes in packets of twelve, but you can make your own in smaller numbers if you have to.

Jerry~ Well, you sure have a problem there. I would see if you could talk to your minister or doctor about those angels that keep talking to you in the shower.

Bubba Tootie~ I love your name, man. We should hang out and go falconing sometime.

Queenie Pantsupcrotch~ What's gotten into you recently? Frick!

Bennie One Shoe~ Sorry to hear about the land mine accident.

Tiffany~ When I was a kid, I saw you at a mall and thought that we would get married. Boy, was I stupid.

B.M. Fartigan~ I know it was you who left that awful smell in the breakroom.

Doc~ What's up?

Sleepy~ Yes, I am. Goodnight!

Jules said...

Have you felt that you've been having bad luck since the whole thing with Tiffany didn't work out? Cuz if that's the case, I'd say that you're definitely due for some good luck.

You only requested it from "brothers". Too bad.. I could have spared some, I'm sure. ;p

The Grunt said...

Jules~ It's just a figure of speech. I'll take luck from the sisters!