Have any of you seen that Evander Holyfield Taco Bell commercial yet? It is freakin' hi-larious. It's good to see this partially-functioning, punch-drunk former bruiser making a few more million as the taco ambassador to the world. I can't get enough of this commercial. You can barely understand a word this man is saying, plus you get to see him in "old lady" drag. About his speech, hell, I don't even think it is an offshoot of some bastardized form of Ebonics. It's more like a deaf Buckwheat walking into an alien ship and muttering random shit to the little gray dudes kind of language. I have been riffing a bit on this commercial and here is my version of how it goes:
Counter Girl: Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order?
EH: I hadda two hanga pangdoh tacknos peaze!
Counter Girl: Usually, a man your size can only eat one of those.
EH (pointing over to an old lady drag version of himself): Bud I pa-tadda na mama puh nunch!
I think there should be a sequel to this commercial where Mike Tyson sits down next to Evander in the Taco Bell and just stares at his ear, licking his lips, then takes takes a long sip from his Baja Blast. Evander could just say this line: "Oh no, potado!" Good advertising doesn't have to make any sense so long as it is funny as hell.
4 years ago