Thursday, July 16, 2009

Living Cereal

There are certain kinds of cereal that I believe to be alive when you prepare them for consumption. I'm talking about the floaty kind of cereal. You pour the milk on them and the little bits of cereal try to escape, jumping off the edge of the bowl in hopes that an ant will whisk them away to freedom. If they are smart the bits will choose the most opportune moments to jump, like when you are moving your bowl from the counter to the coffee table. It's there that the cereal bit can drop on the floor and become undesirable for human consumption, banking on there not being any dogs or babies to eat them. The other places that cereal can drop are in sofa/recliner cushions, baby seats, and in the folds of the morbidly obese.

There's also the kinds of cereal that comes into play: being the type that mom buys and you don't want to eat, kids. That cereal goes on to live an exciting life of adventure in the waste facilities of the world. I think that, in this case, I'd want to be generic, sugar-free raisin bran or anything that involves natural ingredients--the cereals that are made up entirely of delicious poison and cut the roof of your mouth don't stand a chance.

It's unfortunate, however, that the liberated bit of cereal really does nothing with its freedom other than watch feet nearly crush them to death. The anxiety of being free cereal must be great, but so too is the need to not be eaten.

Thoughts.

6 comments:

Christielli said...

There's nothing that I love more than good cereal-related writing.

Do you feel bad eating the alive kind of cereal?

Jay Ferris said...

I play by the 200 second rule, so food dropped onto the floor or into someone's folds isn't really an issue for me.

rawbean said...

captain crunch! That stuff destroys the inside of your mouth though....

Outdoorsy Girl said...

You totally forgot about the cereal that tries to make you feel sorry for it so you won't eat it. You know the kind that gets all depressed and soggy. You think "ecchhh,I don't like it when it gets all soggy!" and then you drink all the milk from the bowl and dump out the cereal. I bet the cereal makes a run for it as soon as you turn your back.

NYD said...

I am prety sure that somewhere one- at the very least, one- of those escaped pieces of has evolved an is capable of locomotion. It might have made it's way to the fringes of the living room where it preys upon the crumbs of midnight snaking in front of the TV.

It is growing and paitiently waiting for it's mate....

Jules said...

I dunno... is the cereal's encounter with the ant any less frightening than it's intended fate? Well... after tht kick ass ride on top of the ant's head...