The other thing I hate about my imagination is that it conspires with my memory recall to bring up weird nudity that I've seen over the years, and places it right in the silver screen of my mind at the most inappropriate times. For example, I am talking to a woman about her new grand kid and Tara Reid's Frankennipple pops into my mind. Things resembling sea monsters eating nachos, shaved voles, and rude vegetables compete for my attention constantly in crucial times. This is why I am not the CEO of Dairy Queen right now. The real kicker is that in times of loneliness and arousal my imagination leaves me and can only think about stuff like how good an actor George C. Scott was. I mean, Patton...are you kidding me? That guy is a national treasure.
The thing about nudity and my imagination is that it can only do one body part at a time accurately. If my imagination tries to create a whole composite, then things start to get a bit strange. Let's try this for example, if I were to imagine a whole nude woman and then bring that creation to life in the real world, she would resemble Salvador Dali's "The Bather". The cruelty of my imagination is unending.This is not totally about my imagination, but I was at my friend's house this Saturday. It was sad because they got a replacement pet for their elderly blue healer: a cute black lab puppy. Nothing says "You're gonna make great mulch for the rose garden" to your old dog like having it train the replacement. I could tell that old Blue was pretty depressed about it all because she didn't even bother telling the pup where to go bathroom--it just peed all over the floor inside. I mean, how can you do your job when your morale is low? The bonus part of training your replacement is that you can train them wrong. Take that, master's shoe! Okay, that part involved imagination.
I'm tired now. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
13 comments:
Awww... poor dog having to train its own replacement.
Christielli~ It is sad and to top it off they aren't even giving Blue a proper retirement party.
lol good one Grunty!
Im 'imagining' now ;-)
Keshi.
Way to plot revenge, Blue.
Cxx
Keshi~ Well, I may need some help imagining. Can you think of anything that would do the trick?
Claire~ Blue's best revenge is in the form of old dog stink and dog farts. So, in this case, revenge is a dish best served hot and wafting.
Loneliness and arousal. Of these I know.
But man, that story about Blue was a serious bummer. :(
Karyn~ You've been gone way too long. Did you know that I'm married to a sweet, little woman? She's a Guinness World Record holder for being made out of honey and is only two feet four inches high. She also has the largest collection of Polish coins stuffed in clown wigs.
Nah, things are pretty much the same. Isn't that comforting?
You need to slap some of that imagination onto canvas and start profiting from it.
I'm afraid that the pteradactyls caused some permanent damage
Your imagination does that to you so that you are able to think about nudity without popping a boner at the most inopportune times. Face it... if it DID allow you to see the whole female nude body at one time, you'd never leave the house...
This post is hilarious. I'm adding you to my blogroll.
Damn Nudity thoughts. I think it's our mind way of playing with us
Jay~ That's what she said--tee-hee!
Giant One Who Stomps~ I blame you.
Jules~ I think that I would leave the house but that I would crash my truck into a tree.
Rawbean~ I'm blogroll worthy? Yes! I haven't updated my blogroll in almost a year. I think that I will do that this week and add you.
Awhh I would be honored if you added me to your blogroll - and um there is a blog on there that needs removal!
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