Thursday, June 09, 2011

Why?

Why can't TV executives read my mind and produce a show called, "Murder, She Farted!"

Why do birds suddenly appear every time road kill is near?

Why does Jesus look like a viking in some paintings?

Why are there so many songs about rainbows and why aren't they all gay?

Why does the economy still suck donkey balls?

Why can't ice cream make me look as good as it makes me feel?

Why can't I have everything that I want, including a big, red hat that has a bell on top that makes loud noises, and not become an asshole?

Why does God let good things happen to bad people and somewhat alright things happen to people between the ages of 18-36, aaaaaand still Jim Carrey feels there is not enough attention in the world given to him?

Why must you look at me that way?

Nancy Kerrigan?

7 comments:

Christielli said...

"Why can't ice cream make me look as good as it makes me feel?"

THAT is a question for the ages, dude!

I would be the hottest girl around!

jason said...

Because

The Grunt said...

Christielli~ So the question would be, what kind of ice cream gives you a certain "look"?

Jason~ Lol! Smart ass.

tys said...

Grunt, I, being the considerate sort, am going to take the time off my busy schedule ( of twiddling my thumb) and answer ur queries one by one :
- Fear of furthering the green house effect and global warming…one of the main reason I gave up cabbage and red beans…my humble contribution to saving the planet
- They are terrible gossips. Natures rubber neckers.
- Actually Jesus looked like Sidney Poiter with long hair, but his publicists hated it..racist bastards the whole lot…so they went in for the full Mel Gibson look.
- I always found Thor gay…u know that whole riding the rainbow thingy…but hey, that’s just me..
- It apparently makes them feel brighter.
- That’s becoz u are eating it…next time try slathering it on urself…and have someone, preferably of a different gender, lick it off.
- Damn, I thought everyone had one of those.
- God lost his mind about 1 million years ago..he was apparently dropped when he was a baby. So just ignore him….hopefully he will go away
- Oh, sorry…didn’t realize I was staring..is that a scar or is it a birth mark?..right, I will just look away now..
- Who?

The Grunt said...

Tys~ Finally, some answers!

Nessa Roo said...

Whew! I finally made it out of the age of mediocrity. I can't wait for good/bad things to start happening to me so I know which kind of person I am.

The Grunt said...

Nessa Roo~ I'm sure good things happen to good people still.