Sunday, November 21, 2010

Winter

I am a native of Phoenix, Arizona. Winter does not exist there. Well, your nipples might get a little hard and you might have to turn on the pool heater, but you get my drift. Winter exists here in the high desert/mountain, whatever-in-the-hell-this-place is. I hate it. I'm too fat and old to ski. Well, maybe not. It's too damned expensive. Yeah, that's the one. I mean, where have all the good times gone? Answer: summer. I'd make a lousy Eskimo. I think my body type points more towards "albino Samoan". Ah, the South Pacific islands! Never been, but I hear they have coconuts. I'm a bit bananas in my coconut. It's not the same thing as being crazy. Trust me, I've looked into it. It was looking back at me, if you know what I'm saying. I'm sorry, you don't know what I'm saying. It's just that winter sucks and snowmen are frozen clowns waiting to get me.

Okay, no more half asleep posting for this guy.

5 comments:

Christielli said...

I never knew that you were a native of Phoenix!

This cold climate is wasted on me too. Skiing? What's that? Snowboarding? No thank you! I do enjoy hibernating though, but my job prevents me from really committing to that, you know?

Jules said...

My friend said to me recently "you're Canadian, aren't you supposed to love winter?"

... he was being serious, I think!

I said "nooo, it's because I'm Canadian that I hate it!"

Just Brrrrrr... as I sit her and try to type reasonably well with 3/4 frozen fingers. :(

J. Kwiatkowski said...

I find it unseasonably warm here in Pennsylvania. It's around 60 degrees.

rawbean said...

We got some snow here and it's still on the ground. That is very rare for Vancouver and I don't like it. My feet are cold right now.

Maybe you should take a hot bath?

The Grunt said...

Christielli~ I totally am a native of Arizona! BUT, I am more of a Utard than an Ari-head. Believe it or not, I am an expert skier. I just have gotten out of it because a day pass is ridiculous now. I am going to start cross country skiing up in the hills for free now.

Jules~ The only thing that Canadians like more than the rest of the world is maple syrup, right? Cold fingers suck.

Julie~ Lucky. Isn't it supposed to be cold and dreary up there in the rust belt? Is Pennsylvania in the rust belt?

Rawbean~ Yeah, you guys up there are mostly wet and not icy. Also, bath does sound nice.