Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Sister

This is one of my favorite pictures of my late sister Bonnie. She is holding our nephew Robert, who is now a teenager. She wanted to have kids of her own but it never did happen. However, she helped out a ton with our oldest sister's children, especially Robbie.

I'm really not sure what to say at this moment. I miss her just as much as I did a year ago. While my emotions are not going through the shock that they did back then, the loneliness for her is always going to be with me. I'm not the most social guy in the world. I have a hard enough time letting people in as it is. However, when I make connections they are rock solid. Having to accept that one of my top people in the whole universe is gone leaves a huge hole in my life.

I didn't mean for this post to be about me. Bonnie, I hope that you are having the time of your afterlife. I mean that. I have thought hard about those last months of your life and what you went through. As much as we all thought that the help you were getting was working, I'm beginning to think that we sent you off to some fancy prison. You died and they got $60,000 dollars richer. Rehab just made your financial situation all the worse when you got out. Your job was laying down ultimatums and your therapists told us to not contact you. Talk about your classic cluster fucks. Who could succeed, given all of this?

I don't blame you. There are some people that I think didn't do their jobs, but I just wish you were here and healthy. I am grown up enough to know that you have moved on ahead of me. I will get on with my life down here. Till we meet again, sis, love you forever.

6 comments:

rawbean said...

Your sister is beautiful, thanks for sharing the photo. I think it's great that you write about her and keep her memory going and strong. Thanks for sharing with us.

J. Kwiatkowski said...

She is lovely.

Christielli said...

That is indeed a lovely photo. Thanks for sharing.

Your sister will always be with you, and you are blessed to have that. Thanks for sharing your memories with us. I know that you are making her proud.

vera said...

<3
/vera

Jules said...

Precious photo, wonderful post!

The Grunt said...

Thanks all for your supportive comments. I was really having a hard time of it. It's good to have y'all around:)