Sunday, November 14, 2010

Nude beginnings

We all came into this earth nude. Some of you may be nude right now. Why is that? Do you like me in that sort of way? Come on, you can tell me.

I have been wondering, what if Willy Wonka and Chewbacca had a baby? I think it would be bad for the chocolate factory, but maybe they could start a traveling family band, like the DiFrancos or Cowsills. I'm assuming that Willy Wonka is a woman. It makes perfect sense when you think about it. Well, no, it doesn't make sense. Just humor me as always.

Have you ever been distracted by a Christmas tree? It's just a simple question. Don't get mad at me. I'm just really concerned that our lives may be in danger here. Accidents happen, you know.

You get only three funny paragraphs tonight. Sorry.

I wanted to thank all of you for your support during Performance Week. I still have one more clip left to share, but I am saving it for later. I have learned that too much of me isn't always a good thing. So I am showing some restraint, despite my need for attention. I am like a plant, people. Talking to me helps me grow. Also, it is not nice to use my planter as a urinal or to confuse me with a coat rack...unless you are into that sort of thing, which I'm not.

Nighty morning noon!


J. Kwiatkowski said...

I know I missed your performance, but leave them up and I'll watch them later. I can't have the sound on in the morning or it wakes THEM up.

Christielli said...

Oh, you know that I've been distracted by many the Christmas trees. They are one of my favourite things ever.

Three funny paragraphs is more than most of us can do in an average post.

jason said...

These paragraphs remind me of a Sedaris story, but condensed even further into blurby thoughts. Quite entertaining.

I was thinking about a Willybacca. Even if they were both males, you could probably genetically engineer a child assuming Chewy has an X and Y chromosome that could be combined with a human sex chromosome. They could take either the X or Y from Willy, and mix it with an X or Y from Chewy, and make a male or female... no sex needed!

Jules said...

I think that it's more likely that Chewbacca was a woman underneath all of that fur.

Christmas trees always distract me, but I've never feared for my life because of one. LOL