Friday, October 23, 2009

She gives good Subway

Now I wouldn't classify Subway as a fine deli, but I do frequent the place, due to it being convenient and relatively cheap. However, there is one thing about Subway that really irks me and that is the inconsistency between stores, or even the employee making your sandwich. I find myself favoring one location over another. This is not due to proximity, per se, but how well they give good sandwich/Subway.

You can liken it to sex, if you want--and I know you will because only perverts read this blog. Some sandwich makers have that special touch where they just know how much mayo to put on, and so forth. Some sandwich makers put way too much of everything on, or think that bigger is always better. I am beginning to know what it feels like to be a woman, in that there are men who think it is sexy to jam their dripping wet appendages up in all of your "that"--there are just so many ways that it can go wrong, and usually does. Of course, and just as worse or more, are the ones that leave you hanging with hardly anything at all and you are left with a dusty orifice, all alone. Let's not forget to mention that the same hands that they touched your goods with were also handling their dirty cash just moments before. Both also can cause anal bleeding, as well.

When Subway is done right it is magnificent. Every placement and assemblage brings about twinges of ecstasy, building up to the high plateau of good times, the slight dip at thought of what this is going to cost you, and then to taking it to the face for the climax. Just remember to wipe that mayo off of your face before going back outside.

5 comments:

rawbean said...

nice

Julie Schuler said...

I'm starting to feel strangely about sandwiches.

Christielli said...

LOL This post is hilarious.

Jules said...

Well, I'm either craving sex or a sandwich now. Hard to tell which.

Pravin said...

i will never be able to look at subway ever again without getting a hardon..