Thursday, June 18, 2009

Lazerly laterly

My mind is still on vacation. Astral travel is much cheaper than getting away physically, but I am no yogi.

My mind thinks of silly things quite often. Lately, I've been fascinated with how Dustin Hoffman says "uh-oh", you know, the "Rainman" catchphrase. I also have an equal fascination with how Jackie Chan says "uncle". He sounds like he's saying "unkhole". There's nothing wrong with it. It is just something that I get a kick out of. So, I've been thinking how great it would be if Jackie Chan and Dustin Hoffman did a movie together, called Uh-oh! Where's Uncle? Dustin Hoffman would just reprise his Rainman character and team up with Jackie on a quest to find his Uncle, who was kidnapped by international gangsters that ride motorcross bikes around the Bronx--the Bronx having the Canadian Rocky Mountains as a prominent backdrop (just like in Rumble in the Bronx). Apparently, Hong Kong filmmakers didn't even try to match their shooting location to their intended setting. Oh, and when is the last time you were traumatized by hordes of breakdance-couture, dirtbike riders in the inner city? Did they try to steal your grocery-store-owning uncle, too? Well, my friends, all of this nonsense will go into this production. Dustin Hoffman will use his savant super powers to process information from almanacs, phone books, and the "Adult" ads in Craigslist to track down the bad guys. Jackie Chan will just randomly beat people up, run around and jump alot, and smile at stuff while pronouncing things wrong to our delight. The best part is that they both will say the catchphrase "Uh-oh! Where's Uncle?" a lot.

Yep.

9 comments:

Megan said...

Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this and are therefore the man to write and produce this theatrical masterpiece! I'll totally go on opening night.

Christielli said...

LOL I love the random things your mind is fascinated with.

rawbean said...

Are you high?

The Grunt said...

Megan~ Your popcorn will be free.

Christielli~ I love that you love my mind's fixations.

Rawbean~ It would explain a lot, but, no:D

Sun Follower said...

"Man From UNHOLE"???

NYD said...

It's the uttter simplicity of your storyline that makes it fantastic.

But who's the the girl? You need a girl! I suggest Paul Reubens

The Grunt said...

Sun~ LOL! Yeah, that works!

NYD~ Pee Wee Herman as a woman? I like it!

Tys on Ice said...

this mite actually work...

Perhaps not oscar worthy unless u make hoffman and jackie chan play a couple...

Wayne said...

Holy Fark Matt what a great idea. I've been away from your blog for too long. This is pure genius. I will go the rest of the day repeating "Uh oh, where's my unkhole" in my mind. I'm getting a kick out of it all ready.