I can picture it now: witches gathered in black masses, waiting for their toaster strudels to reach golden perfection, a Hermetic Order of the Golden Crust, if you will. Maybe there's a witch who just wants a bagel to go. Cursing and cackling sure do work up an appetite. Hell, bake a damn potato, a pot pie, a friggin' french bread pizza! Holy shit!
I think the young girl witches start off with some kind of satanic easy bake oven, er, easy bake coven, but instead of a 90 watt bulb, it is a burning ember straight from Satan's asshole. Surprisingly, this does not effect the taste of the cupcakes. Wait...this sounds way more badass than a stupid toaster oven.
Maybe what makes a toaster coven a step up from the satanic easy bake oven is the sisterhood that is developed around convenient baked goods and hot buttered toast. Yeah, and just try fitting a baby into an easy bake oven, satanic or otherwise. Now I totally get it.
Anyway, I wonder if Jinx Dawson sang this tune after having an evil Pop Tart, or something.
4 years ago