What does it take to create? I don't have a straight answer for that. I do know what must happen to get the most out of your creative process. What must happen is you let the demon in. You let that sucker in and open up your psychic pores. Let an angel in just to see how they get on, and you have some real good times.The resulting ooze comes at a price, however.
What does it cost? In my case, I never made much money from being creative and nothing from writing a blog. Sometimes putting myself out on a limb creatively caused me great anxiety and sometimes have hurt feelings of others, mainly because they were the target of some song or one of these blog posts. The moments where I let the "Little Red Guy" in (as represented in my avatar), it wasn't some negative thing. Rather, I could not keep up with the flow of ideas and inspiration, it would wear me out and I was subject to heavy episodes of depression after the manic rush of creation subsided. Where it comes from, I joke, is Satan. That's a funny way of saying that the ideas I've had surely couldn't have come from God, because I'd get thrown out of church for saying such things there. Anyway, God inspires me plenty. So I joke that it's demons, the imp in the box, or Satan, but it's not you Satan, it's me.
I alluded to mania and depression earlier. To my best knowledge, I am not bi-polar. I say this because I have been fairly stable for the last four years. If there is such a thing, it would be "situational" polar overshoot. I am making attempts at disciplining my creative hand, rather than depend on such external devices. Too many people burn out from muse dependency.
Writing and music have been products of mine that I have been reluctant to share freely. I have more practical projects that I have engaged in lately. Those are easier to talk to general audiences about, and especially the prudent Mormon folk of my tribe. I am working on that self consciousness that keeps me from successfully realizing my creative potential, but keeping enough in check so as to not become Mr. Charles Manson Rogers.
Where do I go from here? Hell, I will always create, but I need to at least shoot for one of those big scary ideas that's been floating around in my head. I figure if it don't get me rich, it might just get me laid, and if none of those two things happen, then perhaps an ice cream cone.
Now, if you don't mind, I have a Fred Astaire-ing contest to attend to.
Ouch, two posts in one week! I think I've done pulled a muscle.
4 years ago