Thursday, March 15, 2012

You just want attention

I know I do. It's late and I'm lonely. You'd think that I'd have something profound to say, but no, I'm just horny for your comments.

In other snooze, I have a major sinus headache. There's something for ya!

In smother noose, I did achieve my very important goal that I was worried about--the one I wrote about in the previous post. What was the goal? Seeing how long I could hold my breath under the influence of jazz rock. I did three minutes, eyes closed. Beat that, the rest of yous!

In udder ooze, I did send my cover letter, resume, and application in time--5 minutes before the job closed. I haven't heard anything back yet. The job is a coordinator position for a program that helps disabled adults find careers. I live my life with my "adult" settings mostly disabled, so I figure I'm a shoe-in.

In buttered shoes, I can't get enough of Diet Coke. I think this means I'm going to hell, or McDonald's. Wait...it's the same thing. Glug. Glug. Sluuuuuuuurp! Still feel empty inside.

In gutter booze, I'm more afraid of my dependency of watching "Supernatural" episodes on Netflix, or as I like to call it, my alternative to a "step on my balls with high heels while I freebase cocaine" type problem. I'm not sure what I just said there, but it's late and I'm horny for your comments. Be nice, okay?

11 comments:

Megan said...

Good luck with the job stuff, although I think that winning the lottery and being independently wealthy is really the way to go. I have a sick like (not love) of the Real Housewives shows. It's probably one of the low points in my life.

Nessa Roo said...

Don't tell anybody what I am about to tell you EVER! (pinky swear?)
I was once addicted to Charmed. I think it was the girl coming out in me. Actually, I am feeling like I need to go watch it again right now. All eight seasons. I'll probably have to call in to work. I think I'll be catching sinus headache from you.

Jules said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jules said...

I'm impressed by you holding your breath for 3 minutes. I'm impressed by you applying for that type of job. I'm impressed that you survived the vivid thought of someone heel-balling you and that you lived to speak of it. As long as you don't say you've become addicted to the tv show "GCB" I will continue to be impressed.

J. Kwiatkowski-Schuler said...

I'm looking for a good show to get hooked on. I'm waiting for the next season of Mad Men and Breaking Bad to hit Netflix. Filling my time with British sitcoms like Black Books and Father Ted.
Good luck with the job. Fingers crossed.

The Grunt said...

Megan~ Thanks! I'd much rather win the lottery (I do buy the occasional ticket). I figure if I did, I would like to get involved in a hot air balloon race around the world and have adventures. Oh, and I got to have one of those monocle thingies too.

Nessa Roo~ I've heard good things about Charmed. Favorite show marathons are "call-in-sick" worthy.

Comment Deleted~ I guess I'll never know why you left me with that naked photo album of you and the packet of Poprocks on my doorstep.

Jules~ Is that show the "Good Christian Bitches"? Lol! Yeah, that's so me. Well, all I can say for impressing you is that it is encouraging to know that I'm not just another lump on the internet. I really do want to help people. If I don't get this chance, then I'll keep trying until someone feels I can contribute. It isn't all about making money, but it sure would make life easier.

Julie K~ I absolutely love Father Ted! I haven't started watching Mad Men or Breaking Bad, because I know that my loved ones, work, and imaginary friends will miss me if I get hooked. I did get hopelessly involved with American Horror Story.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Yay! Congrats for beating the timeline and getting that application in! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

I love how the comments have sort of become a bad TV confession. Guess that means it is my turn: Hi my name is Julie and I'm addicted to Jersey Shore. :( I feel my face burning with shame right now as i hang my head down low. I was late to a friend's party last night because the reruns of the season in Italy were on...but the drama so good that season!!!!

That being said, I also watched Charmed for a while and Real Housewives of Atlanta (but only because I personally know Kim Zolciak because her daughter was in my class a few years ago and I just HAD to see what she would do in the show). Whew! I feel better now with that out in the open! Carry on friends!

jason said...

good luck with the job thing grunt. as always, funny post. hope this satisfies your comment porn addiction.

Christielli said...

Your different paragraph lead-ins in the post made me laugh. You are clever, sir.

Hope the sinus headache is gone by now.

The Grunt said...

Julie Julie~ Whenever I see the people from "The Jersey Shore" all I can think of is that these are the Oompa Loompas that escaped and are now on steroids. Your secret is safe with me.

Jason~ It does satisfy, just like Snickers. You know, I do look forward to your comments, and that's no bullshit.

Christielli~ Hey, I thought you'd run away. Good to see that the Paris trip has been epic! You know what else, when I try to think of funny lines for my blog posts, I always ask myself, "What would Chrissy laugh at?"

Tys on Ice said...

wasnt in for a long time..so i wasnt there when you were horny and lonely..i am sorry...i wasnt there...i feel i have let you down..allow me to do a harakiri.

all the best with the job hunt.