Pop Beastiality

Remember how hot it was when Britney Spears danced all sexy like with that python/boa at the MTV VMAs? Now picture that routine but with a chimpanzee or a dog.

Now the whole symbolism of the Serpent/phallus tempting Eve in the Garden of Eden thing does not escape me. What does escape me is that a snake is just as much an animal as a rooster, monkey, dog, or a hamster is, so why are we okay with dry humping/sexually abusing snakes?

I once saw a '60s "B" movie, exploitation flick where a stripper was basically screwing a snake and sticking it in her mouth as she go-goed. What if, instead of a snake, she greased up a cat and stuck it between her legs then swallowed its head in a fit of ecstasy? What would we have then? Movie magic, that's what!

I declare, thinking about all of this here stuff has done given me a case of the wim wams.

She gives good Subway

Now I wouldn't classify Subway as a fine deli, but I do frequent the place, due to it being convenient and relatively cheap. However, there is one thing about Subway that really irks me and that is the inconsistency between stores, or even the employee making your sandwich. I find myself favoring one location over another. This is not due to proximity, per se, but how well they give good sandwich/Subway.

You can liken it to sex, if you want--and I know you will because only perverts read this blog. Some sandwich makers have that special touch where they just know how much mayo to put on, and so forth. Some sandwich makers put way too much of everything on, or think that bigger is always better. I am beginning to know what it feels like to be a woman, in that there are men who think it is sexy to jam their dripping wet appendages up in all of your "that"--there are just so many ways that it can go wrong, and usually does. Of course, and just as worse or more, are the ones that leave you hanging with hardly anything at all and you are left with a dusty orifice, all alone. Let's not forget to mention that the same hands that they touched your goods with were also handling their dirty cash just moments before. Both also can cause anal bleeding, as well.

When Subway is done right it is magnificent. Every placement and assemblage brings about twinges of ecstasy, building up to the high plateau of good times, the slight dip at thought of what this is going to cost you, and then to taking it to the face for the climax. Just remember to wipe that mayo off of your face before going back outside.

Just post already

Hello. It's been awhile but I needed the time away from blogging. Some very significant things have happened to people close to me and I have been involved a great deal in those life events. It has been truly great. My sister is out of the chains of addiction and discovering a whole new world now. My niece has got remarried to a man that treats her right. My mom has finally retired. My brother is starting to really try to lose weight.

I am still grunty, but with more miles and wear and tear. I think it makes me look distinguished (read: older and fatter--"Orson Welles"). I have had some time off and I hope to post pictures of my trip to Escalante. My friend Wayne promised me a CD with pictures of the trip. So, we are all at his mercy. I am parting together another electric guitar out of odds and sods that I had laying around, together with a recently acquired Stratocaster neck from Ebay.

I've been doing a little work and consulting for a local metal band, nothing big, but cool nonetheless. I get paid "big fat donut" for my sage advice and skillful hands. It is all part of my plan to become their creepy tech guy when they make it to the county fair circuit.

Well, that's about it. More posts to come. Hopefully, they will be weird ones.