Friday, February 12, 2016

Waaaaaait a minute

I was watching the movie "Grease" tonight and in the opening animated credits I saw something interesting.  Rizzo, in her still image in the mirror, looks like a Hobbit.  If she is in fact a Hobbit, well what kind of Hobbit would she be?  A slut Hobbit?  Was Rizzo a slut?  I don't think so.  She was just an assertive, catty, a bitch.  But I like that sort of thing, so let's go with that.  She's a badass, bitch Hobbit, the one that all the teen Hobbits try to bang, but never end up being able to handle her kind of tough love.  
What would Rizzo's Hobbit name be? Baggins? Proudfoot? Nah, I'm thinking it's something like Rizzo Firesnatch or Rizzo Tumblenhay.  Something tells me she wouldn't be the type of Hobbit that would stick 'round the Shire, either.  I think she's a big city Hobbit with big dreams and a tight ass.  

I could totally see her and Gandalf having a one night stand.  Yeah and all the other Fellowship Hobbits would be hanging around making things awkward between her and Gandalf, like they're going to get some sloppy seconds. In true Rizzo style, she'd quip, "Whaddya fellas think this is, a gang bang? Scram!"

My kind of Hobbit lady.  Anyway, if she and Gandalf had a baby it would explain people like Jesus.  I mean, the kid would end up being human size, but all magical and hungry 'n' shit. That's why Jesus was always turning water into wine and food into more food--it was freakin' elevensies--time to nosh!  Anyway, there probably is a Pink Ladies chapter in the Shire.  It was just cut out of the movies.  I'm sure that it is in the books, somewhere in the middle, perhaps.  Yep.


Vampiressrory said...

Gee, Grunt! You cracked the case! They even left great clues, and we've all been missing them for all of these years. Is it just me, or is that Gollum she has skinned, stuffed, and hung on her vanity mirror? We're missing half the story! Sure, the male hobbit (Frodo) tried to spin it, and say that Gollum "tripped" into the fiery pits of Mt. Doom, after biting his finger off! I guess he couldn't admit that it was a lady hobbit (Rizzo) who pulled that bitch off of him, and took Gollum's skin for a prize; then, she tossed the ring into the fire, saving the day. Come on Frodo, just because you couldn't toss the ring in yourself that's no reason to lie! Of course the media tries to portray this strong woman warrior as a bitch. -Feminist rant: over.

The Grunt said...

I think you're onto something there. Heck, I didn't even notice that Gollum looking thingy hanging from her mirror. Rizzo is a good role model.

Christielli said...

lol at Rizzo = hobbit.