Friday, July 31, 2015

Post Title

This post is so ahead of now, even the title is beyond itself. 

I am able to predict the future. I'm here to tell you that it will happen, folks. 

Two rabbits enter a hole in the ground. One finds itself on a stage in Atlantic City, the other one is transported to a child's birthday party in Kansas. Meanwhile, the dog chasing the two rabbits is left very confused and disappoints its master. A poor rural family goes without food that night. This is only part of the destructive ripple effect of magic tricks. 

Waldo was found dead in his apartment. 

I have often wondered where all the left socks go. I'm thinking it has something to do with the "Rapture". 

Sticks and stones may break my bones. It's in the bible. 

I once opened myself up to the universe. Now I can't come within 200 feet of the universe--damn restraining order. 

The apocalypse will happen soon, my friends. Question: What kind of wine goes with "We're all gonna die"? Answer: wine.

Question: How many roads must a man walk down before he gets to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Answer: LSD. 

 I met God once. God said hi, then I said hi back. God cleared his throat and we sat there for about a minute or two silent. God then said to me, "Great talk, son. Well, I gotta go. You be good now!" 

Nothing particularly special happens when Wonder Bread and Miracle Whip are combined. 

Nope, that wasn't it.

Nothing part ick you lard lee spesh ul hap hands wan bonder wed nad monocle blimp art connived.

Let's do that one over again. 

Noting particle spatial tappin is won thunder dead on spherical dip arrrr da mimed.

Phew! It's great to finally say that out loud. I hope you will understand. 



The Grunt said...

Hey, you need to stop coming into my room and farting!

The Grunt said...

Well, you need to stop feeding me beans!

The Grunt said...

Hey guys, knock it off!

Jules said...

I'm really bummed about the wonder bread and miracle whip, and totally impressed that you thought to try that. Innovative thinking, Grunty, innovative thinking.

As for the last few sentences, I totally understood that and I look forward to finding out how that works out for you!

The Grunt said...

Hahaha! Yay! I finally reached somebody. Good to hear from you, Jules.