I could have written many different posts right now. Hell, I could have written many posts this past while if I hadn't been in an utter fog of lost purpose and emotional sterility. This post had to be the one that came out of my mental uterus before succumbing to my regularly scheduled Netflix coma tonight. I am talking about the lack of real love compatibility with any living organism other than my own self loathing. However, my relationship with myself is bound to end in divorce the way things are going. I am the silent movie version of a drama queen. Nothing said, yet only typed in a clicking whimper. What in the hell am I talking about? How the fuck should I know? I only live here too. I think the worst of it is that I am the problem: a 120V plugged into 220V. The iron has caught on fire and is burning the house down. If I could just get my own personal converter, I think I could stop this and it would be safe for someone else to take residence inside me.
This is the part where I write something to make it all better, and it might be. This just needed letting out tonight. Read with care. I appreciate my friends who have stuck with me through my journey so far.
Earl...
11 years ago
5 comments:
Still reading, still here. I don't understand your analogy because it has something to do with something mechanical and voltages and whatnot, but I think I get the gist of it.
We just got Netflix, it's pretty awesome. We watched "Where the Wild Things Are" this weekend, so I'll reiterate what I told my son- just because we can't make everything OK for the people we care about, that doesn't mean we stopped caring about them.
I guess I should be writing something comforting and filled with hope. Something trite such as, "when God closes a door, He opens a window" or "you'll find it when you stop looking".
I don't really have the answers, but I think that you and you can work it out. Your relationship is worth the work. Just think about the kids.
Awww, I'm sorry you are going some drama. Good for you for letting it out. Trust me, it helps a lot. (I had to do a big vent to someone the other day.)
Julie~ Netflix is my dream come true. As for the analogy, yeah, it seemed to make sense at the time.
Megan~ I am so glad that you didn't say something like that. Inspirational jargon of that ilk usually angers me. My love child with myself would probably be normal--a reverse abomination, if you will.
Christielli~ What I am going through right now is sort of what like Steve Martin's character in "The Jerk" was going through at the beginning of the movie. I have been feeling "different".
Rent Tuesdays with Morrie from Netflix and learn while you're commatose. XO
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