I want to start my own tribute band. I want to call it "My Morning Bowel Obstruction".
There's these identical twins from Mexico, one named Juan and the other is named Amal, that are attending university in the U.S. Because their family is very poor, the boys have to take turns visiting their family on the holidays every year. This year Juan came back home to visit during the holidays. His mother, while happy to see Juan, said, "I love both of my boys so much, but I really am sad that I do not get to see Amal. I miss him!" Juan, trying to console his emotional mother, said, "But mama, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"
You really need to say that one out loud in order to get it.
I have a coworker that has been telling me how much weight he's lost over the past three months. Every day it's, "I've lost forty pounds!" I am happy for him, but I am rather weary now of his constant bragging. So, today, when he started on his little kick about his weight loss "Man, I've lost forty pounds", I remarked, "What, since yesterday?" He didn't find this very amusing. However, I did and so did every one else in the room. That is all that matters.
The moving of my sister Bonnie's belongings from her apartment is finished. I had a lot of help and the move went well. We are storing it in my parent's storage unit for now. This was easier than I expected. I had thought that it would be hard emotionally to move all of her stuff out, but it gave me a feeling that I was helping her. Also, when all of the stuff was moved out, all that was left was an empty apartment--it was no longer that "place" that I had found her in such misery this past year.
My brother in law, Paul, had an accident at work on Monday. He was working on the roof of the convenience store that he manages and the ladder slipped on the ice as he was descending. He fell fifteen feet and landed on a cement Jersey barrier chest first. Monday he was listed as critical, but has since improved and is conscious. He broke all of his ribs; a rotator cuff; internal injuries to his liver, intestine, and kidney. His heart was unstable for awhile, but the doctors were able to get him to pull through. There was some good that came about all of this--provided he recovers--in that the doctors discovered that he has been a diabetic for some time and that he has cirrhosis of the liver from his "I'm not an alcoholic. I only have two beers (and all of that whiskey that nobody knows about) a week." drinking habit. You'd think that after having been a poll bearer for his sister in law, who died as a result of her alcohol addiction, would have had a wake up call then. Well, he is starting to realize that he needs to change his life and said that he will give up his drink and chewing tobacco.
Who said Mormons don't know how to have a good time?
3 years ago