Waaaaaait a minute

I was watching the movie "Grease" tonight and in the opening animated credits I saw something interesting.  Rizzo, in her still image in the mirror, looks like a Hobbit.  If she is in fact a Hobbit, well what kind of Hobbit would she be?  A slut Hobbit?  Was Rizzo a slut?  I don't think so.  She was just an assertive, catty woman...er, a bitch.  But I like that sort of thing, so let's go with that.  She's a badass, bitch Hobbit, the one that all the teen Hobbits try to bang, but never end up being able to handle her kind of tough love.  

What would Rizzo's Hobbit name be? Baggins? Proudfoot? Nah, I'm thinking it's something like Rizzo Firesnatch or Rizzo Tumblenhay.  Something tells me she wouldn't be the type of Hobbit that would stick 'round the Shire, either.  I think she's a big city Hobbit with big dreams and a tight ass.  

I could totally see her and Gandalf having a one night stand.  Yeah and all the other Fellowship Hobbits would be hanging around making things awkward between her and Gandalf, like they're going to get some sloppy seconds. In true Rizzo style, she'd quip, "Whaddya fellas think this is, a gang bang? Scram!"

My kind of Hobbit lady.  Anyway, if she and Gandalf had a baby it would explain people like Jesus.  I mean, the kid would end up being human size, but all magical and hungry 'n' shit. That's why Jesus was always turning water into wine and food into more food--it was freakin' elevensies--time to nosh!  Anyway, there probably is a Pink Ladies chapter in the Shire.  It was just cut out of the movies.  I'm sure that it is in the books, somewhere in the middle, perhaps.  Yep.

I wanna rock...

Wouldn't the world be a much better place if this happened instead?