Tuesday, August 28, 2012


This blogging thing is hard. Boy, I'm going to have to hire an assistant or something.  Or maybe I'm going to need to do something besides eat, work, shit.  I get a shower in there; I'm not a freakin' ape, ya know.  If I were an ape, this would be some miraculous shit right now, blogging.  Certainly, if an ape was able to blog, it would be fascinating.  If I woke up in the morning to find myself transformed into an ape, I'd be scared. Eventually, I'd feel pretty awesome and go to the store for a banana run.  I could work as a body guard or night club bouncer. I would then pay my way to through law school and represent animal actors.

There, I've finally got my five-year plan!


Christielli said...

Remember when Mr Burns hired 1000 monkeys at 1000 typewriters to write a novel? "It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times??"

You might get that kind of quality if you were to turn into an ape, is what I'm saying.

buy gold today said...

You are an ape......didn't you know? haha funny post

Jules said...

So... does this transformation begin with literally letting all of your body hair grow out? Are you one of those men with a very hairy body to begin with? I'm afraid to keep visualizing this, however, I do feel that your 5 year plan is a worthy one.

vera said...

*suddenly a wild vera appears*
i miss the golden days too...
i guess this is how old Romans felt after their civilization went kaputz!
<3 u still,

Nessa Roo said...

Wait, does law school take five years!
Never mind, I just remembered, I'm going to be an editor, not a lawyer. Tell Christelli to send those monkeys my way...in five years.