Happy Five Mayonnaise Day!!!

Yes, it's me, your favorite retard. I've been on some hikes. I've been working on sprinkler systems and cabinets (jerk of all trades/master of nuns). I've been reading a lot. I want to build a little speeder bike out of my dad's '50s era Hiawatha pedal bike and an 80cc, 2-stroke engine--I just need the monies (pronunciation in honor of Cinco de Mayo). I am going to take some online instruction to gain some better computer skills--not the kind that makes me giggle and clap my hands--the work kind. I need to have prospective employers not view me as a leper. Sometimes I get the feeling that, based on my resume, people assume that I run around filthy dirty with a hammer and shovel asking people to tell me what two plus potato is. I know the answer: it's donkey...in pinata form. Happy Cinco de Mayo!